Monday, December 27, 2010

On The Origin Of Species

I was on wikipedia, looking at a summary of what was in Darwin's book On the Origin of Species, and it got me thinking about stuff-not the origin of species, I'm not a very scientific person, so I only barely understand what all that's about-but more about people and their rejecting of God and His existence and the effect that has on them. This is what I came up with:

Reading this just reminds me of what a man (or woman) becomes after a lifetime of rejecting God’s existence. Sure, a person can start out as a great one with fabulous intentions, they just happen to not think that a “God” exists. No problem.
But after a while, they start rejecting more than just God. They start rejecting things that could possibly support the existence of God. Why? Because that would mean that they’re wrong. This is totally natural, who really wants to be wrong?
That’s not the only reason one would reject God. The other reason is that IF there was a God, then they would have to be held accountable for their actions. All those things they’ve done in secret; all those thoughts they’ve had; every single bit of their private, personal life would be known. We know that we’ve done, said and thought bad things, and that’s okay, as long as we’re the only ones who know about it. But if Someone perfect and wonderful knows about it…we’re now seen as the terrible people we really are. We don’t have to admit to that, sometimes we don’t even recognize it. But we’re not entirely stupid. We were created with a mind that can put two and two together to figure out that we’re not as great as we pretend to be. I digress.
So they begin rejecting everything that leads to God. Then the next step is rejecting everything that REMINDS them of God. That’s a pretty empty life they’re building.
No wonder Darwin became so bitter toward the end. Same thing with Voltaire. Possibly the same with emperors and kings and other types of rulers. They start off great, just trying to figure things out or stating what they’ve observed and everything. But they still refuse to see God in this. They put humans or nature or something else as the be all end all. That’s why they became bitter, because humans are sinful. They let you down more than once. Pretty soon, they all start to look more like animals, because that’s how a lot of them act. And geez, anything disabled or mentally unstable is OBVIOUSLY worse than a regular human, because they can’t even act like the proper animals they are. So it only makes sense that they should die, as they’re no help to the other animals, in fact, they’re a burden!
I feel so terrible for the people who have believed things like this. That’s such a terrible way of thinking. I know I’d become quite depressed if I saw the world like that.

God,
I hope that I’ll never even begin to view life this way. It is such a gift. Humans and animals and anything else in life are all your creation, and it’s so beautiful. Yes, we sin and act like animals a lot of the time, but you didn’t create sin. The sin in the world is unnatural. It’s a parasite that has diseased the world. But you created us as we should be, and when that side of us comes out-when I see your image in my friends and family and even strangers-it’s such a wonderful thing to behold. I sincerely hope that I would never reject you, because life without you in it is so miserable and disgusting.

Thanks for reading! I'll probably update this in another six months or longer. ;)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Fresh Start

"Save me, for I am yours; I have sought out your precepts." -Psalm 119:94

Ben and I were doing our homework for our new Wednesday night group study "How To Study The Bible" and one of the things we were supposed to do was read Psalm 119 and list all the descriptions of Scripture that we found in it. That was great and all, but it was that one little verse above that really struck me hard. Do I really act like I'm God's? I know I am, but how often do I ask Him to save me? Is it just a last ditch effort thing? And when I do, is it the only contact that I ever have with Him?

When I really think about it, I know that I don't act like I'm a child of God often enough. Most of the time, when I pray, I'm usually asking for a favor. It's not bad to ask for things, but I take it so far as to ask for things that I know I'll get things out of, be it something material, or even just a good feeling about myself. I'm quick to say that I would never try to take advantage of a friend, yet I try to take advantage of the Perfect Friend. That thought really makes me sad when I think about it.

Thankfully, I know that no matter how many times I screw this relationship up, I can always try again, and again, and again, and again. Praise God. :D

Starting today, I'm going to spend at least ten minutes every day talking with God, and spending a little more time with Him each day. :) I encourage the reader to either continue doing that, or start! :D

Friday, August 20, 2010

Macaroni is my Soulmate/ Learning to be Fearless

So, as the title suggests, I'm eating macaroni...in the living room! That's right! Cuz I'm a grown up now and I can do whatever I want when I want now!! ...Hold on, mommy says I have to go do the dishes or else I won't get my allowance, brb...Just kidding. :P I've been allowed to eat in the living room for a while, as long as I use a tv tray.

Now on to more important matters: depression. I personally think that the weather does a lot to your emotions. For instance, it's been rainy and humid here for the past few days, so I've been feeling all mopey and irritated. However, today, It's warmed up, and the sun is out, and I'm feeling a bit more hopeful for the future! Isn't it weird how that happens? Either way, I've been feeling kinda sad recently. It's almost as if my life is moving waaay too fast for my liking. Why didn't I enjoy the time that I had to be young and irresponsible? I know that I'm still quite young, and I've got a TON of things to look forward to, but I feel myself looking to the past and mourning the loss of those years long past. It kinda sucks to feel this way.
But, I know that Satan is just using my...what's a good word? Fear, maybe? Yeah, fear of growing up...he's using that to try and control my emotions and encourage me make decisions based on that fear. I may have let him do that for a while, but now that I recognize it, I'm going to do my very best to not let fear control me. After all, when I'm on the side of the Creator of the Universe, what IS fear anyway? And why am I letting myself fall into it?
From now on, I'll be writing about my fears and how I plan to conquer them by facing them. Of course, I'm sure I'll write about other things, along the way, but that's going to be my quest! Man, I feel superpowered already! Thanks, God! :D

Monday, November 23, 2009

Facing Giants And Hacky Sacks

Hello my friends, I know it's been a while since my last post, but life doesn't always allow me to update as much as I'd like.

The past few weeks have been fairly fast-paced, but not unbearably so, life is, as it usually is, good. Yesterday was Sunday and I was very excited for it to be Sunday because Sunday means Youth-Group-Day. Ben had just gotten the movie "Facing the Giants" a couple days ago (I think) and so he apparently decided that we would watch it during YG. My parents have the movie, but I've honestly only seen it once and that was around the time that it came out. So yeah, Anthony hadn't seen it so I was pretty excited to see what he would think about it. We served each other chips and other yummy junk food (that's something Ben started doing with us, we have to serve each other) and sat down to watch. It was really fun because there were a lot of funny parts that I didn't remember seeing and Anthony and I were making fun of their extremely southern accents and all that. But then the story started to shift to being less funny and more focused on God and I know that's when I truly started to pay attention. I'm serious, there were parts of that movie that I really wanted to start crying, it was very touching. Anyway, we came to the end of the movie where everything turned out happily ever after and all that, then we went into one of the classrooms and talked about what we got out of the movie. There were a lot of good points made by everyone. A few of the biggest points that were made are as follows: Not only should someone put their trust in God, but everything else too, including dreams and challenges, because honestly, it's not really trusting God if you withhold things like your dreams and fears from Him.

And

Even when you trust God and decide to do only His will, you better mean it because He may not give you all the hopes and dreams that you wanted to come true if He doesn't think you really need them or should go in that direction.

Those points were really impactful for me, and I decided after we prayed and everything that I would start one day at a time to live according to God's will, not mine. So far, I've done pretty well, I think, but I'm sure I could improve, so I'm gonna need lots of prayer. ::hint hint::



After the lesson and cleaning our stuff up, Ben gave Anthony and I a little free time to do whatever, so we decided to play with Ben's hacky sack! It was a lot of fun because it doesn't matter how good at catching Anthony may be, I'm SO bad at throwing that even he couldn't even catch it all the time! On our way to drop Anthony off at his house, we were tossing it back and forth and trying not to hit Ben (who was driving) in the head or anything. We were laughing so hard I'm sure we sounded pretty stupid. Then Ben took me home and stayed over for dinner
and ate tacos! :D All in all a very good night was had yesterday.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Post-Halloween Depression

*Sniffle sniffle* One of my favorite holidays come and gone. :( This year's Halloween was a great one, though.
As soon as October came around, I had already started planning for F.L.O.C.K.'s annual Halloween party. Ben came up with what we were going to do during the party, and I was in charge of decoration (because when you're the only girl in a youth group full of guys, you get privileges like that, plus, Ben had a lot on his plate anyway, so if there was anything that I could do to be a helping hand to him I was all for it) which was so very fun. I'm sure the people at Party City were getting quite used to my presence in the store all the time.
Finally I got everything I needed and by the time the day before the party came around, I was all set! The party itself was fantastical, even with only four people there (I had invited my friend Josh Schweitzer to come) we had a great time. Even Anthony said that my decorations were much more than he expected. :D Our night was full of great food that the moms had made for us and a card game and later, pumpkin carving! The pumpkin carving was really fun because Anthony and Josh were complaining about EVERYTHING!! Well, not everything, but it sure seemed like it. Anthony was going on and on about how disgusting the insides of a pumpkin was and Josh was frustrated because his knife wasn't doing what he wanted it to, (after he finished carving it, he said it looked retarded...we all agreed that it did) so instead, he was sticking his nose into the hole in the top of the pumpkin and smelling it! He was saying how gross it was, but he kept on, lol. I even have a picture of him doing so...of course, in that same picture I was pretending to lick the cut-out top of my pumpkin. Heehee. All in all, it was hilarious fun.
The next thing we did was really spectacular. Ben had spent two days making a maze for us in the auditorium. A MAZE!!! It was really good too. I'm pretty sure he used every table, chair, plant, blanket and pillow case that he could find, haha! We had SO MUCH FUN in it!!! There are videos of it on Facebook, so for those who can, go check it out, because I cannot properly describe the pure amazingness of Ben's genius with words. :D
the rest of the night consisted of taking funny pictures of Ben and Josh playing guitar with brooms and Anthony throwing stuffed animals at me and putting hats and crowns on our pumpkins. Such a good night with such amazing friends.

The next day, however, was not that great for me.
After Anthony's soccer game, Ben and I went to the church to start cleaning up the mess from the night before. I was in room 10 (where the actual party was held) and Ben was in the auditorium working on cleaning up the maze. When I got into the room, I had noticed that the wallpaper I had put up (it was called a scene setter, and it looked like a stone wall) was coming down already. So I went over and started taking it down and once I got a pretty big armful, I turned around to take it to the lobby (I'm not sure why I was taking it there). As I neared the door, some of the wallpaper slipped out of my arms and somehow got caught under my feet and I slide forward and hit my head on the edge of the door, and if that wasn't enough, I turned my head to the side, mid-fall, and hit the side of my cheekbone. It hurt really bad, and by the time Ben rushed in, I was bawling my eyes out. I cried for a good, long while before he could get me to chill out and let him see my face. So, anyway, after that mess, I really didn't do too much cleaning up because I had this terrible headache. So Ben went to his house and made me some macaroni and cheese and got me a mountain dew (because that usually eases the pain from a headache for me) and then we looked through pictures from the night before. Isn't he a sweetie? :P

So, once I felt a little better, he took me home so that I could start getting ready for the trick-or-treaters to come around. I dressed up in dark clothes and drew scars on my face to match the already purple bruises on the right side of my face before I went out. I didn't stop to think that people really can't see you too well in the dark when you're wearing dark clothing. Especially when your next door neighbors have all these awesome halloween decorations and are attracting the kids with them, all the while, the children are skipping over your house. :-( So I went inside and put my Roman empress costume on (which has a little more color than just plain black, haha), and put candles in my pumpkin. This seemed to help, but even so, I still didn't have the decorations to excite the little kids, so a lot of them were still skipping my house. Finally I got tired of these children not seeing the worth in all of the candy that I had to offer (and, boy, I had a LOT of candy) so I grabbed my computer and Ben's speakers (Bless him for leaving them at my house) got the extension cord and went back outside. As soon as I clicked on Apocalyptica and the speakers started blasting Hall of the Mountain King, all these little heads turned my way and not long after that, little feet were scurrying over to get their share of candy from me. :D That really made my night turn out to be really fantastic

Earlier that day, I had asked Ben if he wanted to carry the spirit of Halloween throughout the rest of the weekend and he said sure, so you can imagine the surprise of everyone at church when in walks a Roman Empress and a Colonial Man for praise team. :P
That night at youth group, Ben, Anthony and I all watched Amazing Grace. Actually, we had started watching it in sunday school in the morning, so I should say that we finished watching it that night. I'd never seen that movie before, so it really impacted me good. :P I really enjoyed it a whole lot and learned quite a few things from it. Plus it was cool to watch a movie with some of my closest friends. :)

So that was my weekend, in all its crazy glory. I'm sitting here marveling at the fact that I survived it all. I'm looking forward to chilling out at the end of today and reading a good book with my yummy friend Earl Grey tea on my little night table. Oh yes, that sounds wonderfully wonderful in a huge way. :)

Hope y'all enjoyed my long tale! I know I enjoyed writing it.
~Kailee Ann~

Monday, October 26, 2009

Fall Truly Is Here!!

I really enjoy the fall season, in fact, I'd have to say that it's my favorite season! Maybe it's because I love art and colors and all beautiful things that is visible to the eye. Whatever the reason, it's a beautiful season. Hehe, great rhyme, hmm? :P
Yesterday I was sitting outside waiting for Ben and Anthony to come over (mom and dad had gone to their bible studies and Ben had decided that we would have a movie night over at my house for youth group. We watched Sleepy Hollow, btw) I was sitting on the ramp that dad made for my mom a little while back, listening to Apocalyptica and reading Edgar Allan Poe and I started thinking about all the things fall made me think of that made it such a happy time for me. Here are some of the things I came up with:

1. My warm (pink, lavender, periwinkle and white) crocheted blanket made specially for me by my wonderful Grandma Murphy.
2. Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven" (kinda cliche, but I like it for more reasons besides the fact that it's a cool poem)
3. Tweed pencil skirts and button-down blouses
4. Cool breezes and leaves rolling across empty roads
5. Vanilla chai tea with added spices and pumpkin spice lattes (which are very good when you're about to fall asleep in church because of a particular sleepover the day before)
6. Halloween parties, costumes and pumpkin carving
7. Great friends to hang out with and watch movies such as Sleepy Hollow and the like
8. The excitement of being able to go to Blue Ridge and see all the fall colors with your bestest friend in the whole wide world (and then probably going to Pizza Hut afterwards on the way home and getting those yummy little pizza rolls that are all for you except for the ends which don't have pepperoni in them, just cheese, so you give it to Ben because that's the only way you can share them with him)
9. Reading outside right before sunset in jeans, a hoodie and no shoes.
10. Being able to look at any part of the outdoors and thanking God for being the marvelous artist that He is.

Those are just some of the things that I can think of off the top of my head that make fall such a fantastic season. I hope all you guys who are reading this are able to get outside and thank our Creator for the opportunity to pay attention to and enjoy the beauty of Fall.
God bless!
~Kailee~

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Great Friends and Good Memories

Kate and Sam spent the night last night! We're sitting around the table talking about whether or not unlimited texting is a better way to go or not. Of course, this is coming from the texting queens, lol. Last night was hilarious, we had so much fun! We stayed up until like, 6:00 am talking and laughing and for some reason, saying Kate's boyfriend's name (Bobby...or as we call him "Blobby") over and over again for what seemed like an hour straight! And somehow, in a way that only girls at a sleepover with too much starbucks coffee in their systems can do, we changed the conversation from Blobby to corn chips. Insanity, I say. Complete insanity it was.

Kate, Sam and I were best friends for a really long time, but when we got older and more busy with working, boyfriends, karate and the other million things we get caught up with, we kinda grew apart and didn't see each other much. I'm always really glad for times like this when things are just like old times, remembering birthday parties, laughing fits that lasted for 30 minutes at a time and hundreds of thousands of inside jokes.
Some of the favorite inside jokes that we have consist of: Ithle-dudelykins (pronounced Ith-al dood-leekins) and the twilight zone theme song, Thrimp Thalad and the nummies, random things about Kate's accident-proneness, P.I.P. G.I.P. L.I.P. and W.I.P. and of course all the songs that we made up together.

I really miss having those great times together all the time, but it's really great to at least have this kind of treat every now and then. I love my girlfriends!!! ::happies::